Writing is vulnerable. Guts and heart join forces with letters to deliver something meaningful…and then what? What if they don’t like it and I deflate…forgetting writing is a gift from the Giver and I’m just a vessel? (cringe) And then gosh, what if they do like it and I puff up…forgetting writing is a gift from the Giver and I’m just a vessel? (double cringe) So I told myself I wasn’t trustworthy to handle the task and attempted to bury any serious writing endeavors away in fear, unwilling to risk anything.Better nothing gained than something lost, I thought.
But after months-turned-years of wrestling, I caved. I couldn’t stomach the excuses I spoke in false humility and fear anymore. So I gave God what He gave me to give…and started writing.
I chose a date. June 30th.
June 30th would be the day I’d launch a bit of hope, wonder and curiosity out into the world wide web. June 30th would be the day I’d gulp down all my what-if fears and finally press “submit”. “June 30th would be it’s beginning,” I told a fellow writing friend.
“Beginnings are sacred,” she said. We must have a Blog Launch Party. It should include cake, apple cider…and to go along with the “launch idea,” she recommended astronaut themed napkins. Smiling, I nodded.
Well, now here we are: June 30th…
In preparation, I sit at the table with my two little girls to draw rockets on napkins. DeCelie draws an astronaut, “with a moon and shooting stars”. We make chocolate cake. Charis pours in the flour and sugar. DeCelie cracks the eggs. Isaiah climbs up the stool and nearly topples all the batter. My husband comes to the rescue. They play outside. And I stir, remembering all my “why’s”…
I write to freeze moments like these…to relive them later.
I write to lean into hope, to listen in for wonder and learn something curious from the day.
I write to see…to see the joy that’s always there – just waiting to be noticed.
And I write because God, our Giver, gave gifts to be given away.
Our small guest list arrives, all of them with new adventures of their own blasting off. One snuggles her first baby close, the other holds her brand new fourth – a boy, and the other prepares to build a studio in her garage to capture smiles. One prepares a book for print, one trains to become a doula, one begins a side business, and the other readies her pen to sign a contract to take the job…to move and serve gals in a high school dormitory.
We raise glasses and breathe prayers over each beginning...
God, You write beginnings…
write each part, beginning to end…here we are, Lord.
Do Your thing.
We raise an extra glass for you, (which one are you?)...
- What is God launching in your life right now? Tell me, let’s celebrate together!
- Maybe there’s a rocket in your life that you’re waiting to rise up. We say a prayer for comfort, perseverance and providence with you now. How can we pray further?
- Maybe there’s a rocket you’ve kept off the launching pad in fear. We say a prayer for God’s fire to light from under it. Lord, move out fear and let Your power, love and discipline lead the way forward. How can I support you?
3, 2, 1…it’s time.
Time to surrender guts, heart and letters over to the Giver…and now what?
C’mon, Dance with me…