I'll Look Back and Miss This

She saunters down the hallway in her footie pajamas. She smells like morning breath and her hair zigs wild. I lift her on a stool to hug her tall. I lean my head down to her chest and listen to her heartbeat, the sound of alive. She grows ticklish at the thought I might blow on her tummy and jumps off the stool in my arms before I'm ready. Her eyes laugh and her dimples catch the shadows. DeCelie, little Miracle, I love you.

I cup her face and stare deep until every detail is memorized. How the dip below her nose drips down soft to meet her lip. The way her upper lip weighs heavier than the the one below it, puckered and pink. I notice how her hair turns counterclockwise until half way down the lock where it curls to match the clock’s spin. She cups my face in her hands and squeezes until through fish lips my voice mushes into a lisped gurgle. Chawis, sweet gwace, I wuv oo. 

I scoop him up and bury my lips in his cheek. He pats my face, grunts out laughter, and his smile overtakes his face. I blow on his tummy and he kicks me away, tormented in joy. I chase him down the hallway growling, “I’m gonna get yous” as I mimic his one-year-old, cowboy-ish gait. He slows down and peers back at me, the little flirt, teasing me to come again. I dash and catch him, inhale his squeals, and lift him upside down in the air. Isaiah, son...I love you buddy.

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One day I’ll miss this...all of this.

One day, Lord willing, DeCelie will stand tall and I will hug her shoulder to shoulder without a stool. Charis’ face will blossom from girl to young woman and I’ll need to memorize every detail new. Isaiah will grow into that dashing smile and girls will chase him down school hallways. And then one day, oh Lord prepare us, D'Arcy and I will blink and boom - they’ll be out of the house.

On that “one day”, if I'm blessed to see it...I’ll look back with eyes blurry, tears burning, and miss this.

So while it’s still here - I'll keep my eyes open and squeeze the moment for every drop of joy it offers.

I'll miss this, one day.
So while it’s still here - I won’t miss it. 

Lord, may I live eyes open and heart full. 
I don’t wanna miss a thing.


P.S. This post was also shared with Holley Gerth at "Coffee for you <3".
For more encouragement visit her site by clicking the couch below: